The ends and the new beginnings

Here's a little bit about myself and my background and what brought me to Substack.

"It's like crossing a river by stepping on exposed rocks. One of my feet is already aligned on the next rock, but the other is still on another rock behind, and I'm not sure if I feel secure enough to take the next step forward."

I've used this metaphor during therapy sessions to refer to my work for a long time. Over one of my recent sessions, I brought it up again, but at this time, I was saying I was confident enough to take the next step forward. "Now you see the horizon," my therapist replied.

I think this conversation can set the tone and show you where I'm coming from. This Substack is not a "starting from scratch." There's history before this: achievements, mistakes, tears, and smiles. 

It's nice to meet you! I'm Laura Peruchi, 37 years old, Brazilian-born, and a New Yorker by choice. I'm a graduate journalist who has been creating content on the internet since 2010. 

There's much to unpack about my creator journey - and I think that's important. I mean, when you meet someone for the first time, it's natural that you learn a little about their background, right? 

So, let's get back to 2013. My husband - who I was dating at that time - had to travel from Brazil to NYC for work - he is an IT guy. Since the company would cover all his expenses, I would only have to pay for my flight ticket. In August 2013, I landed in NYC. It was my first time in the US. And I fell in love with this city. 

We had plans to live abroad at some point in our lives, but NYC only sped up this process. Long story short, I encouraged him to find a job here, and in January 2014, we moved to the Big Apple. This story alone is such a great story - maybe I can write about it someday!

As a journalist who was already blogging about beauty and fashion, I saw a big opportunity in that new chapter in my life. I started to create content about NYC. And, as a Brazilian who was not confident enough with her English as a second language, I'd do everything in Portuguese. Over the years, I've built a big platform: blog, YouTube, Facebook community, digital products, newsletter... I'm proud to say that if you were a Brazilian - or Portuguese speaker - planning a trip to the Big Apple, you would find all the info you need on my channels. Or close to that. 

All my jobs, work, and projects have taught me something - but perhaps the experience of building a content platform about one of the most important cities in the world has been the most challenging, transformative, painful, and, why not, satisfying of all. Maybe because working on the internet means dealing with all kinds of people - online and offline. Yes, a lot of people are kind, but some of them are clueless and ignore the fact that you're a human being. But don't worry. This isn't a text to complain about people. The wounds were properly healed and brought a lot of maturity - at the cost, of course, of many shed tears. I've learned many lessons - like the fact that a stranger's opinion about you doesn't define who you are.

I always had goals for my YouTube channel and my blog. Not only did I want to be recognized for my work, but I also wanted to make money, obviously. For me, financial independence has always been important. But there's something a lot of people have no idea about visas: some of them only allow you to literally exist in this country - nothing else. So, for a long time, I couldn't monetize my platform and make money. 

Since I couldn't do that - and neither find a regular job because I wasn't allowed to - I just kept creating and investing my time in my passion: New York. I would uncover new places and talk about them, helping tourists have the best experience in the city. I'm very proud of everything I've created. But, again: money was also important. 

And while other creators have emerged and time has passed, I think my "battery" was running low. When I received my Green Card in 2020 (I should definitely talk about that as well!), a weight was lifted off my shoulders, and finally, the path to monetization was open to me. But I wasn't the same person anymore. I was annoyed and questioning my work - and let's say the pandemic only accelerated this process, requiring me to deal with my dilemmas.

And since then, I've been trying to reinvent myself. I created a podcast about living abroad, and I shared more than 120 stories from Brazilians around the world. In addition to the podcast, I even ventured into job interviews in 2021 - something that put me in contact with the New York City Department of Tourism and gave me an opportunity that I will never forget. A campaign that consisted of interviewing people around the five boroughs to show the world that New York City, contrary to what was being said at the time, was alive. And yep, it was me: a Brazilian, speaking English with an accent, working with the New York City Department of Tourism! That gave me the confidence and made me realize that I could do more.

I wanted to reach new audiences. I wanted to make my voice heard. I wanted to, at least, try... So, I started to create bilingual content. Which was good for a while and opened many doors and opportunities. But then, I was, little by little, lost and disconnected. I wasn't feeling like myself anymore. I was stuck. At some point, I had:

• Two blogs, two newsletters, an Instagram, a podcast, and a Facebook group.

• My personal life: a husband, a house, a dog, friends.

• The internet reinventing itself.

• The rise of TikTok.

• The eternal change of algorithms.

• 6483947937 content creators in the city talking about the same thing, running to be the first one to post the latest news.

And I lost it. I was never feeling enough. I would have meltdowns every week. I was feeling miserable. I didn't have a diagnosis, but I suspect I had burnout - or, if not that, I came very close to that. I stopped posting. I was and still am penalized by the algorithm. 

I looked for answers for a long time, but I always told myself that I'd get through this and that I had to trust the process. And, damn, it hurt. At some point, respecting my time - with the privilege that I know I have to be able to do this - I found answers. I didn't feel comfortable in my skin; I didn't feel like myself. I felt like many of the things I did, I was being "forced" to do. Which is dangerous to anyone who works with their creativity.

So I finally accepted that I've changed. That maybe I didn't want to do the things I was doing anymore. My interests have changed. And probably that was getting in the middle of my creative process. It has been ten years since I moved to this city. If I was in my almost 30s when I got here, today, I'm closer to my 40s. So, I started doing things I always loved again, like reading a book and taking better care of my health... I even started to take Memoir writing classes! Things I would procrastinate because I thought I had to work 24/7. But do you know what hasn't changed? My passion for communication. Communicating is what I love to do and what I want to keep doing - now in a different way.

This Substack is my deep breath. It's my new beginning. It's my new chapter - in English. It's me going all in in a second language. 

"The Tiny Apple" is where I share my NYC tips without worrying about being SEO friendly. I also share my thoughts and reflections. "The Tiny Apple" is the name I created to represent everything I share here: a personalized perspective on New York City— a smaller, more intimate version of the "Big Apple." A personal side of New York City life. And also because I'm a tiny human being - 5.1, to be precise :)

Can this go wrong? OBVIOUSLY. 

But I take this step with the confidence that what I am leaving behind no longer makes sense to me today. Yes, I had this thought several times, but I'm 37 years old... am I going to start over? 

However, I remember that it's never too late. I've changed so many times - and I've never regretted believing in myself. I learned English as an adult, Spanish too, and I started French two months ago and swimming lessons a month ago. I decided to continue focusing on communication to talk about topics that, in a way, have always made my eyes sparkle. Why couldn't I change my focus now? 

So, I'm ready. Let's go!