Rethinking my travel mindset
I've never traveled so much in such a short period of time. No, this is not a complain - but that has definitely caused some reflections and thoughts.
Between September and November, I traveled to five destinations. It wasn't something that I planned on purpose - two trips were previously planned, and the other two were "last minute" work and family trips. Among a pretty chill trip to LA with my sister, a work trip to Tenerife, a personal trip with my husband to Tokyo and Seoul and a trip to Paris to spend some time with my family, I took 11 flights. But this is not a post to brag about my travel history - which is a huge privilege, I know - but to share some not-so-random thoughts and reflections I had over these trips. Some of them are trivial; others are deeper. I almost didn't write this post - but I guess when it comes to my Substack, I want to keep it personal, vulnerable, honest, and spontaneous.
"Travel is good, but coming back home is where the heart truly rests."
There's a similar saying in Portuguese that translates to something like: travel is good, but coming back home is even better. Couldn't agree more. It took me a while to realize that. At the end of the day, I guess the "depression" a lot of people have when coming home after traveling sometimes can be related to how unsatisfied with our lives we are. I still remember when I got back from my first international trip to Buenos Aires, Argentina, and how miserable I felt. I also remember how unhappy I was at my job. It's hard to celebrate coming home when a home doesn't mean joy when we have a failed marriage, a toxic workplace, a terrible boss, or when we are feeling lost. No one wants to get back to that. And I know that, in today's world, being happy about the home you're coming back to is a privilege - a privilege that I don't take for granted.
Truth be told, over the past years, I've been loving to have and follow a routine. Never thought that would make me so happy. I know it's gonna sound cliche, but life happens every day. And sometimes it's so hard to live in the present. This travel journey made me feel even more grateful for the life I have.
FOMO versus Joy
I love how social media and YouTube made it easier to discover new places and plan a trip. We can start traveling before even boarding the plane by writing down the places we want to visit, the foods we want to try, and the pictures we want to post. But all the to-do lists and viral places sometimes come with that FOMO feeling. The Fear of Missing Out is real. "You have to do this; you need to visit this spot; you can't miss this experience." That creates an anticipating regret feeling and makes you feel like you are not enjoying the place enough, not doing enough… During our trip to Tokyo and Seoul, I was in a constant mental battle, feeling we were not doing enough and, at the same time, trying to remember there is no right and wrong.
On the other hand, this trip also brought back a feeling that I hadn't for a long time while traveling: pure joy. I don't know if what I'm gonna say is controversial, but nothing beats the feeling you have when you travel to another country for the first time, at least for me. But, I'm glad I was able to experience something similar during this first trip to Asia. From the signs to the food, from the people to the music, everything was so different and fascinating. I caught myself paying attention to little details and things that sometimes I don't even care about when I'm in the States or in Brazil, my home country.
And between FOMO and joy, I reflected a lot about what I like to prioritize when traveling, how I like to travel, and how I can bring myself to the moment, spending my time doing the things that I value and love. Sometimes, it's hard to ignore the noise and the FOMO, but I tried my best. The moments I had more joy were the moments my husband and I were just walking around without a lot of plans and checklists. Although taking pictures and sharing content on social media can be fun, living in the present and being able to truly appreciate the moment is what really matters.
The joy of small wins
I started to take French classes in January this year - before that; I had taken some classes three months years ago. So I was curious to see what my experience would be like in Paris - this last trip was my first time visiting the city after starting my journey to learn French.
To be honest, I had low expectations and no confidence. But I'm glad I proved myself wrong. It all started during the flight when I could understand the announcements in French before the translation to English. After arriving in Paris, I paid attention to everything in my surroundings - nothing beats the experience of immersing yourself in a language. And I almost cried (lol) when I had my first interaction in French at a store: asking if my credit card was accepted, spelling my email, and understanding the total amount.
I'm sharing this because this experience reminded me, again, of the importance of celebrating the small wins. I can't even measure the amount of joy I felt every time I was able to do small tasks, like paying for a purchase or just understanding some announcement. Seriously, I felt like a little kid. And it made me remember my journey learning English when I was just a little girl translating my favorite songs and the joy I felt discovering the meaning of the lyrics and all the classes and courses I've taken so far, and how I, sometimes, don't give myself credit for that.
Travel but make it stylish.
This little travel marathon just reinforced something that can be stupid for some people, but it matters to me: fashion. Listen, I'm not saying you should dress for a gala or a runway when traveling. But planning my outfits not only made me more creative but also made me pack smartly and, surprisingly, lightly. Feeling good about myself - and comfy, of course - had a huge impact on my self-esteem every day.
And girls: I guess this is just a reminder that we don't need to be ashamed or embarrassed for caring about clothes and styling. Are we judging men for loving cars or sports? I don't think so. I decided to own the fact that I love using fashion as a creative tool and a way to express myself, making me feel good in my skin.
We can get the answers we are looking for - we just have to pay attention.
After the pandemic, I started to question a lot of things in my life - especially related to my work as a content creator and my life abroad. Little by little, I'm finding some answers I'm looking for - I also started a life coaching program that has been helping me a lot. I've been looking for answers since then - and I had some pretty dark moments. But sometimes, answers don't come in the way we expect to.
And, of course, travel can be an amazing tool for self-discovery if we are paying enough attention to ourselves and asking ourselves the right questions. I thought about so many things when I was in Tokyo and Seoul. The moments I had more joy were related, in a way, to some plans and projects I have. But it wasn't obvious. So, I guess knowing ourselves, our values, and what truly matters to us is important. Otherwise, we just go with the flow without questioning anything.
I guess these were some of the random thoughts and reflections I had over the last weeks. Would love to learn more about a trip that was special for you and why.
Hi, Laura! Your thoughts are very interesting and I identify with them. I love traveling, but I also love going back to my home and my routine. As for FOMO, I also struggle with it every time I travel. By the way, I found your itinerary in Tokyo and Seoul very interesting because I didn't see some super famous attractions and I thought "how liberating it is not to have to rush to see everything that people say is a must-see". Thanks for sharing these reflections ;)
Love it, Laura! Thank you for sharing - FOMO is real, and if we don't pay attention we let ourselves get caught amid that craziness. And, there is no better thing than wondering around the destinations without any worries - usually we get the best surprises from that. :)